30 Things I Learned Before 30
I turned 30 yesterday! In some ways, I can’t believe it, but at the same time, I feel like my 20s lasted forever. I went from being a 21-year-old working her first full-time job to a wife, mother, and now my own boss. It’s crazy to think about how much I have grown in the last ten years and I am so thankful to be exactly where I am at in life right now.
I have always been a bit of an old soul. I graduated from high school a year early. Not because I didn’t love high school, but I was ready to move on with my life. If I truly dig deep into my soul, I have always wanted to be a grown up, a mom, have a family, and what is funny is now that I am, I couldn’t be more content.
There have been many, many growing pains and lessons that I have learned on my way to 30-years-old. So today I wanted to share 30 Things I Learned Before 30.
30 Things I Learned Before 30:
God’s Plans Are The Best Plans:
I was a willful teenager and young adult. I feel like I often ignored what was truly best for me for what I wanted at the time. The biggest thing I have learned in the last 30 years is that God’s plan is always best. Sometimes you may not see the big picture at first…but man…when you do…it was well worth the wait.
Follow Your Passions:
I remember sitting in a Chemistry lab my last year of college and thinking to myself, “I either will spend my whole life working in a boring lab like this or have to spend six to eight more years in school”. I decided then, that is not what I wanted in my life.
Fast forward to starting my blog. I didn’t care if one person followed me or if twenty followed me, I knew I needed to start it for myself and my own happiness. I truly believe when you follow your passions, your best self shines through-and the road to success might not be easy but boy is it worth it. Plus, it’s a fun journey if you are doing something you love.
Attitude is Everything:
I’m a glass half full person and that has really served me well in life. Life doesn’t always go our way, and sh*t happens. I somehow always find the bright side of anything. You can find a silver lining in any situation if you try. If you take every hurdle and obstacle as a lesson and understand that each one is teaching you something, you will be able to move on and grow from it.
Keep Your Inner Circle Small:
I used to want to be friends with everyone. Now, I am simply FRIENDLY to everyone and have narrowed down my circle of friends so that it is only my ride or die people that get my undivided attention. It’s impossible to maintain a million friendships and give them all enough time and energy. Trying to do so will drain you. So start pairing back now if you haven’t already. I re-evaluated my friendships BIG time when I became a mom and have been very picky with who I spend my time and energy with since. I felt guilty at first, like I was doing something wrong, but at the end of the day, if it feels like a “job” or chore – or you feel drained after seeing someone, then that’s just not a ride or die person for you. It doesn’t mean you can’t still be friends with them, but just pull away and start putting all of that good energy you have into friendships that REALLY nourish you. Remember your best friends are people who should love you unconditionally, and lift you UP not suck your energy.
Don’t Take It Personal:
This is something that I still am working on. Not everyone will like you. Someone’s commentary might be read the wrong way. Maybe you are having a bad day…maybe it’s PMS… who knows….Try not to take everything said too personal. Be lighthearted. Be able to laugh at yourself.
Social Media Can Be Toxic:
I am so glad I got to be a young 20 something, free of Instagram and the intensity of social media. Yes, I know it’s a huge part of my job, but I also see how incredibly toxic it is. People posting pictures of themselves everyday to get LIKES and COMMENTS from strangers?! And people with more likes and comments are somehow ranked better than others? Comparing our lives to other people’s glossy, edited, perfect looking moments that really only show a small sliver of their actual lives?! And the pressure of looking a certain way and constantly being “on” and documenting your every move? It’s a lot! I know I don’t have to tell you – we all think this and can relate! I absolutely struggle with this sort of skewed reality/perspective that this platform has created and I’m not really sure where it’s going to go or what’s going to happen with it all, but until then, I’m just going to keep creating content I love and I’m proud of.
Pivot and Diversify:
Some people say you should hone in on one thing you’re good at – and focus on that and only that. Well, I say don’t put all your eggs in one basket. What if you put your life savings in one big project that goes south and you lose everything? You want to displace the risk and have a few burners going at once. Don’t rely on one source of income. Don’t invest in only one type of thing. Should there be one thing you focus on more than the rest? Absolutely, but always have a backup plan and focus on having multiple skills.
2020 has taught me one big thing. BE FLEXIBLE, be willing to learn, get creative!
Be Nice To Everyone:
My goal is to always leave a place or person happier than when I got there. It takes zero effort to be kind to someone and it may make their whole day. We never know what someone is truly going through behind closed doors.
Take Care of Yourself Before You Have To:
When I was 21 I could house a beer and a burger and be the same weight the next day. Weight aside, I am more concerned about my health these days. Living a healthy lifestyle is just that…a lifestyle. Exercise regularly, eat healthy regularly, sleep. These sound so simple but they can be so hard to follow through with. I know for me that when I am consistent with these three things, I am happier, more creative, and a better person.
Setting Boundaries Is Essential:
In life, there will be people (family members and friends) who cross the line. And if that crossing of the line bothers you, makes you upset, or makes you uncomfortable, you should speak up. The other person might not even realize they are crossing this line, but simply communicating it or acting in a way that will help them to understand, will make all the difference.
Be In The Moment:
This is something I’m constantly working on, and sometimes (a lot of the times) it can be very hard for me. However, I’ve learned that being in the moment is oh so necessary. It’s all that matters. The ONLY guarantee in life is the current moment you’re in. Life is short, and you never know what tomorrow might bring, so being in that moment and enjoying it to the fullest is what you need to do. Be present. Be engaged. BE in that moment.
Family Is Everything:
When you’re little, sometimes the ‘cool’ thing to do is not have your mom walk you into school or not have your dad be seen as he drops you at your friend’s house. As you get older, family becomes the most important thing. They are the only people who love you for just being you. Cherish your family.
How Someone Treats You Is a Direct Reflection of How They Feel About Themselves:
You know those people who just radiate joy, love, happiness, and are so supportive and uplifting every time they see you?! It’s because they LOVE themselves, and they feel joy and happiness within, so they are able to share that with you and others. On the flip side, you know those people who are negative, haters, judgmental, and big ol’ grumps? It’s because they don’t feel good about themselves and went through things in life (often trauma) that you or I may never be able to understand. They are the people that actually need love the most, so try and be understanding and don’t take anything personally (I know it’s hard not to!) Oftentimes people who are hurting on the inside are simply projecting that hurt in various ways to the outside and you may just be a target/in the line of fire that day.
Don’t Be a Gossip:
There’s a quote I love by Eleanor Roosevelt; “Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people.” Gossip gets you nowhere, start thinking big and go out and make your dreams happen. The older I get, the easier it is to remove myself from relationships where gossip is the main topic of conversation.
Give Yourself Grace:
We are our biggest critics. I wish I had realized that sooner in life and had gotten out of my own way. Give yourself grace. Self-love is a game changer.
Quality Over Quantity:
When I was in college, I was always buying the latest trends. I one day realized my closet was filled with things I barely wore. I now buy quality pieces that last years, and can transition from season to season.
The same goes for home decor, friendships, and where you spend your time. Are you consuming tons of worthless social media content every day? Why not learn something new instead?
Pick Your Battles:
Right now I am seeing so many petty battles all over social media. I choose to not involve myself in those things. It’s easy to get caught up in an argument or call someone out for something silly. Do you feel better after you do so? Do you think you made their lives better by doing so? Sometimes the battle isn’t worth it. Choose them wisely.
Start a Skincare Routine:
Find the products that work for you and stick to your routine. Oh…and WEAR SUNSCREEN. I wish I had learned these two things sooner.
Read the Directions:
Dang it! Read those stinking instructions, and remember to NOT throw them away.
Animals Make Life 100% Better:
We have two pets: our cat, Figaro, and our dog, Maggie. Every day they each make me smile. I just hope I make their lives as happy as they make mine. Animals are like therapy and great cures for loneliness.
Buy a Crockpot:
Cooking dinner is a chore. Meal planning is a chore. Make life easier on yourself. Buy a crockpot, instant pot, get on Pinterest and find a few healthy recipes to rotate between. Stop stressing over dinner and ROCK THAT CROCK.
Be Over Prepared:
This applies to everything; people, places, events, things, dating! With regards to work stuff – it’s best to be as thorough as possible and lay out every single detail – no matter how much of a no-brainer you think it is especially if you’re a manager or business owner. With everything else I always like to manage my expectations, walk into a situation OVERLY prepared, be clear/upfront about my intentions and have an open mind!
Cheer For Others:
Be your friends’ and family’s biggest fan. Support them in any ways you can. Help them in any ways you can. Be proud of their accomplishments. Hold their babies, show up when you say you will. These small things mean the world to them.
Finish What You Started:
There have been things in my life that I’ve started, worked on for a bit, and didn’t complete. Whether it was because I got too busy or became uninterested or whatever the reason was, it didn’t get done. However, the things I did start and did complete, it felt DANG GOOD. Now I try to make sure to only start projects that I know I’m passionate about and know I’ll want to finish.
Apologize:
Even if it was unintentional, it’s so easy to just apologize and move on. Try not to say “I’m sorry, but…” and make excuses for yourself. Learn how to make a sincere apology, and you can avoid breaking down the trust in your friendships and relationships.
Stay True to Yourself:
This is hard. There are times when I haven’t stayed true to myself. And each time I’ve been shown why I should have in one way or another. As a creative, it can be REALLY hard not to get swayed or influenced by others, but dig deep and persevere. And keep doing YOU. In the end, your uniqueness will stand out.
Smile Often:
I find that even when I smile while alone, my mood instantly improves. Even when you don’t feel like it, try it sometime. You won’t believe how quickly your mindset will change.
Accept People For Who They Are:
If you love the people in your life and want to be supportive. Do them a favor and accept them for who they are. This goes for your children, your family, your friends. Nobody is perfect. Everyone places emphasis on different priorities in their lives and THAT IS OKAY. That is what makes them beautiful and your relationship with them special.
The Only Opinion About You That Matters is Your Own:
I used to feel SO SAD when I heard that someone didn’t like me. I am a people pleaser at heart, and it used to kill me when I couldn’t make everyone be my friend. Around the time I started my blog, I decided I no longer cared what people thought of me. I’ve chased after this dream with everything I have and I feel SO fulfilled in life that I don’t worry if someone doesn’t like or understand me. It’s so freeing when you finally come to terms with this.
Never Lose Your Inner Child:
Dance, sing, go to Disney World. Never lose your inner child! Even though I always wanted to be an adult and I love the responsibility of running a business, and all the things that come with being a grown-up – I never want to be too serious and/or forget to have FUN. Life is meant to be enjoyed. Embrace your silly side and gravitate toward people who make you laugh until you cry and you’re doubled over in stomach pain!
Cheers to 30 Years!
Thanks for following along!
xoxo,
Kalyn
